My mind, my thoughts, my words

Sexual preferences aka erotic blueprints

Most sex research focuses on physical responses, individual sexuality (homo/hetero/bi/etc) and “abnormal” behaviours (nymphomania, fetishism, sadomasochism, etc). We certainly talk about different THINGS that turn individuals on, be it lingerie, porn, bondage, or even water and more ‘taboo’ things such as animals. What hasn’t been talked about much is what lies behind such preferences. Just like people with the same personality type share certain attributes, are there “erotic types” that underlie why some people are into BDSM whilst others prefer it super romantic?

Erotic inclinations have been shown to be both instinctual, genetic, and determined by early life experiences. They are highly resistant to change (Seltzer, 2012). Jaiya researched how people get turned on and called her findings “EROTIC BLUEPRINTS”. A blueprint refers to how a person is wired, therefore, an “erotic” blueprint refers to how a person is sexually wired – their sexual needs, responses, and desires.

I found this very eye-opening, maybe you will too! So I highly encourage you to find out your erotic blueprint…

THE FIVE DIFFERENT EROTIC BLUEPRINTS

Knowing your blueprint can reveal to you (and your partner(s)) your sexual language (what you need to get really aroused, how you respond sexually, what you desire) which can help in meeting your (partner’s) sexual needs to improve your sex life.

There are 5 different blueprints (see below for summaries). Here an overview with their characteristics (shortened from this file; you can also do Jaiya’s quiz) . The column you have the most agreements with defines your blueprint. You can also be a combination of two or more blueprints; people actually tend to have a primary and secondary core wiring.

Mostly ENERGETIC

You are Energetically Wired
– highly sensitive
– the more pleasure your partner feels, the more aroused you become
– loves anticipation
– turned on by energy play
– effected easily by negative emotions
– short circuit with direct genital touch
– may judge sexuality as not spiritual

Mostly SENSUAL

You are Sensually Wired
– often complain you can’t get out of your head
– need to relax to have sex!
– affected by smell, sight, sound, touch, taste
– tends to like it “romantic”
– relaxing activities such as massages, bathing, even cleaning can toggle
– loves to give and receive sensual play
– often stuck in your head, can’t get present
– judge yourself harshly
– body image issues
– hard to let go

Mostly KINKY

You are Kinky Wired
– turned on by “out of the box” sexual encounters
– can be turned on by psychological play only
– usually have a rich fantasy life
– enjoy creativity in sexual play
– wanting to experience sexual freedom
– may experience shame and guilt overriding their desires
– may get stuck in a particular fantasy that becomes their only route to orgasm

Mostly SEXUAL

You are Sexually Wired
– men in particular are expected to be sexual
– easy to turn on – sexual stereotype!
– sex in order to relax (opposite of sensual type)
– turned on my visual or touch stimulus
– can go from zero to orgasm quickly
– can be focused on end goal (orgasm); outcome driven, missing the journey
– most likely to experience performance anxiety
– sometimes self-focused during sex

Mostly SHAPESHFITER

You are a Shapeshifter
Shapeshifters can play in all the realms with ease and joy. Some Shapeshifters are naturally this way and others learn how to wire themselves to be able to play with anyone!

REFERENCES

Seltzer (2012). You Can’t Much Help What Turns You On. From Psychology today at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201205/you-can-t-much-help-what-turns-you

https://surveyanyplace.com/s/eroticblueprint%20

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This entry was posted on 18/11/2018 by in Sex and Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , , , .
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