I have been on several “dating app” (tinder, bumble…) dates. There have been some occasions on which I immediately started to wonder how I could “escape”. I wanted to be “polite” and give them a “chance”, so I’d sit through a coffee. My opinion didn’t change though. So I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d rather not waste each other’s time, therefore telling the guy bluntly that I don’t feel like this is gonna go anywhere, and leave. I’ve done that a few times – no one has ever done that to me… maybe I’m just pickier than the average male…
Your body can determine whether there’s (potential) “chemistry” with someone almost instantaneously. Body language, gait, scent, voice – all are cues about someone’s genetic makeup, and therefore signal your body whether they might make a good match (interestingly, the feeling isn’t always mutual though). In the end, initial (non-) attraction can go both ways though, after getting to know someone better.
Apart from awkward tinder dates that put me off swiping, I’ve also met some guys I ended up seeing or even became good friends with. In the end, you just don’t know whether you’ll be attracted and get along with someone based on their profile. (More on this here) But I’ve grown tired of going on dates that lead to nothing, not even an interesting conversation. So I started my own tinder alternative (experiment) which takes away one part of the problem – not being physically attracted in the flesh.
We’ve all been in situations in which we passed by a stranger and wished that there would’ve been an opportunity to actually meet. Walking past each other is probably the most difficult encounter of all kinds, because most people have a destination and will have passed you by the time you’ve had the urge to look again. It’s easier to approach someone in a bar or cafe – and yet, people are often too shy to do anything.
The Idea: If I see someone, I scribble down my name and number and give it to them, saying a brief line such as “Get in touch if you wanna get to know someone new?” (maybe you can come up with something better!!). Then I leave. It’s like a tinder right-swipe; I showed my interest, so if there was something about me that they liked, they can now “respond”. And I don’t have to wonder “what if”, as I put fate into their hands 😉
So, what are the results…?
Guy 1 – library. We’d been working opposite each other for a few hours. I left when he went to the loo and left my number, name, and “the girl from opposite to you” on his desk. He actually messaged – that he was flattered, but that he was taken.
Guy 2 – subway. Awkward. I was about to get off. I mumbled “It’s difficult to meet people” whilst passing him a piece of paper with my number. For some reason he wouldn’t take it and it consequently just dropped in his lap. Just because you notice someone doesn’t mean they notice you…
Guy 3 – cafe. I noticed a guy sitting a few tables away. As I left I handed him a note with my name and number – I don’t remember what I said. He messaged back, but again, unfortunately, he was taken.
If I ever get “lucky” 😉 using this method, I shall update this post… at least on tinder, bumble etc, you can be sure that people are “open” (even if they may not be single :P).
Maybe we should all just wear t-shirts such as these, to invite strangers to talk to us?
(I found the slogans online, except for the last one which I phrased myself 🙂 )