My mind, my thoughts, my words

Carmichael Kerfunkle’s talkshow, today’s guest: The Devil Devillin

SCRIPT (about-ish)

Animal 1: It’s the show of tomorrow!

Animal 2: It’s the show of today!

Animal 3: The show that makes your problems go away!

Animal 4: Got a sea bass addiction or a creepy conviction?

Animal 5: Wait, wait, wait, wait! I’ve had it with this! What kind of cruel, heartless person would force us to perform in such an embarrassing manner in front of so many people?! We want to go home, to the wilderness!

CK:  No, you must perform! Now guards, remove them from my stage!

CK:  Hello my wonderful audience and welcome to the show, I am Dr. Karmichael Kerfunkle. Today on the show we have a very special guest. She’s a spicy girl who’s confused about who is the babydaddy of her little hellraiser. Everyone please give a great, big, loving round of applause FOR!… Our very own devil from hell, Devilliln.

CK: So glad to have you here. Girl you fine. So… Devillin… what’s on your mind?

Devil: Isn’t that obvious?!

CK: Isn’t that exciting! Who’s the father?

Devil: Well that’s the problem, I don’t know!

CK: Dayyuummm. But devil, how could you not know?

Devil: There ‘s more than one candidate.

CK: Oooh…

Devil: I’m so sorry, my hormones are giving me terrible mood swings.

CK: There, there Devil, it’s okay…

CK: Now let’s bring out the three potential fathers! May I introduce, Gabriel, Derek, and… Stony

CK: So, Gabriel, could you tell us what happened?

Gabriel: Well, I was in purgatory waiting to take someone to Heaven

Devil: And I was waiting to pick someone up from Hell

Gabriel: So there was quite a bit of time to wait which we uhh… made use of…

CK: Mhm… Well, and how about you Derek?

Derek: Had some time off so I had a drink in Hell’s bar, and look who I picked up…but I’m not the father I swear! Like I always say, “Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool.” (Sly wink at audience) Like why am I even here, I don’t even want to see your face anymore.

Gabriel: Woah man, that’s so uncalled for.

Derek:  What you want a go?

CK: Alright alright, how about you?

Stony: uh.. wha? mmm…

CK: Right, he seems to be… Lets move on… Let’s see what our next guest has to say in Devillin’s defense! Everyone give a warm welcome to… The Angel of Death!!

CK: Death, it’s great to have you with us. Tell us more about Devillin, do you think she could make a good mother?

Death: Don’t worry guys, She is brilliant! Never had a better pimp in my life! She will always be able to afford the costs of raising a child. With such a successful….

Devil: Don’t ruin my image!

CK: Let’s see that the DNA results have to say (opens envelope and gasps) OMG, the father is none of you, it’s God’s DNA!

Audience: wow, an immaculate conception!

Audience: well, it’s happened before…

CK: “thank you to our guests and audience, see you next week on….”

***

CAST & WRITERS

CK: Kimi
Devil – Gina
Angel 1 (Gabriel) – Jordan
Angel 2 (Derek) – Sean
Angel 3 (Stony) – Liam
Angel of Death – Elizabeth
Bodyguard 1 – Goldie
Bodyguard 2 – Rachel
Animals – Ash, Deborah, Jess, Melissa, Tim
Audience – Caitlyn, Elana, Kimberley, Matt, Pani, Rachel

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This entry was posted on 27/05/2013 by in Creative Writing, Literature, Media, Miscellaneous and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .
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