My mind, my thoughts, my words

First loves, experiences and change

Don’t we all sometimes think back of how we were then and feel just a little embarrassed… Well, ever since I can think, I think a lot about everything – sometimes more than I should. I would say I’m a very mature and experienced person for my age and I’ve been ahead of peers ever since I was little. The only thing this doesn’t apply to is… boys. And when I first met a person who I had the guts with to give it a go, I messed up quite badly. Even though I (partly) got what I wanted in the end, I still did some things which, when I now think about it, I can only shake my head about: How little I knew about boys, and how very much I should’ve listened to my friends! Anyway, pondering about this topic I got thinking, was that guy my ‘first love’? How do we define ‘first love’?

Is it the guy you had such a bad crush on when you were 9, who you adored so much you would give him Pokémon stickers (that he collected) which a boy who liked you had given you, but who never reciprocated ‘cos he was probably way too cool – and of course to dumb to see how awesome you were?

Or all the following crushes who didn’t even know of your existence?

Or the one you liked and actually got to fourth base with, only error in the equation that he didn’t really like you back.

Or your very first relationship?

Or simply the first person you love (that would make sense considering the word ‘first love’), be it reciprocated or not. However, what is love in the first place? I reckon that question deserves an own post (TBC)!

It probably depends on the persons involved. I certainly think that every guy I had a more ‘meaningful’ crush on still means something to me and I wish them nothing but the best. On that note, guys, I hope you’re doing well!

I still wouldn’t say I’m anywhere near close to understanding guys and doing things right, but luckily you learn from your experiences and as time passes by, change happens.

Some reading: Can you EVER get over your first love? Four leading novelists tell their stories of youthful passion

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This entry was posted on 28/07/2012 by in Academia, Miscellaneous, Psychological Issues and tagged , , , , .
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