Bedbound. Watching the clouds floating over the city through my window. And another painkiller please.
Life is not fair, we all know that, don’t we. Some people never have anything, some occasionally, and others more or less always. I’m probably more of the latter type these days. My ‘major’`health problems’ have been 1, something that I won’t share on the internet 😉 2, a fracture 3, another fracture. Now something’s wrong with my brain, thus I had a lumbar puncture yesterday to check my spinal fluid. The procedure was rather unpleasant but what followed was worse. Not only a worsened headache but also terrible backache which kept me in bed almost all day. When you’ve got a lot of time to waste (literally, because you can’t do any mental/physical ‘work’) you think about a lot of nonsense. As I am capable of sitting, i.e. writing on my laptop at the present moment, I thought I might just share some thoughts with you. Don’t continue reading if you’re mentally unstable (zut. maybe I should stop writing (just kidding)).
Illness makes unattractive?
From an evolutionary perspective, probably yes. Ill people wouldn’t survive in the past and where therefore no good for mating. Thus we go for healthy looking (‘attractive’, ‘beautiful’) people. Motivating thought that if you’re prone to suffer from illnesses you’re likely to end up alone!? Well probably not, as thanks to advances in medicine many diseases can be cured and thanks to plastic surgery we can all look like Barbie and Ken – if we have the money obviously (who’d go for someone poor anyway).
(note my sarcasm in this post which might not come across too well due to the lack of verbal intonation and my awesome facial expressions 😉 )
What keeps us from ending it?
What if we’re someone ill and poor, with a not-so-bright-looking future? Or just someone depressed, someone extremely unhappy? I met a man yesterday in the hospital who told me he has had MS (multiple sclerosis) for 13 years. What keeps him alive? Why does human nature strive for survival? Is it hope that keeps one from committing suicide? Is it love?
At any rate, moments like these when you feel sick, can hardly move and would rather not wake up again make you appreciate the times when you’re healthy. And even if life sometimes sucks, it has a lot more to offer. Just open yours eyes wide enough.